Greetings, AHOL.
When it comes to LEGO birds and beasts, sea creatures and critters, you’ve got two rows to hoe.
You can brick build LEGO animals, which is to say, you can piece them varmints together from scratch using individual LEGO bricks.
Or, you can use any of the many beautiful and detailed, molded LEGO animals that TLG has produced over the years.
The same as I do with LEGO stickers, I've got a pretty ardent opinion and preference here.
I'm a molded boy all the way.
And I'll tell you why.
Madness is nothing without method.
I'm a believer that if you're going to build, you ought to build with purpose, logic and consistency.
When I look at a LEGO brick, I think "inorganic".
Building blocks.
For me, LEGO bricks are perfect for putting up structures and building buildings.
But nothing about their geometric excellence suggests the "biological".
Let's take the minifigure, for instance.
Svelte. Elegant. Rounded and pure. The LEGO minifigure implies something well-built and adjacent to the more mathematical elements of the LEGO System.
Contours and curves.
The LEGO minifigure is capable of lines and delineations that defy the more stringent constraints of building with the LEGO System's measurable bricks and pieces.
There is life here!
A plumpness and bulbous achievement that suggests a living state.
The same goes for LEGO plant life.
Bends and arcs that can't be duplicated with conventional 2x2 or 2x4 LEGO bricks.
My point: living things look, behave, and are molded differently in my LEGO aesthetic.
Plant, animal or minifigure; for me there is a difference in how particular LEGO elements are presented, constructed, and displayed.
If you want to go the brick-built route, I ain't mad at cha.
But for me, molded is the move.
Trust me, I love brick-built most things.
Putting big things together with little parts is one of the hobby's joyous acts.
But I do draw a line in the proverbial sand when it comes to LEGO animals and other "organic" LEGO constructs. One must.
Because a healthy LEGO layout demands and deserves logic.
Things need to make sense.
Otherwise, you may as well be a dumb-dumb with their Duplo.
Which leads me to the most egregious sin any AHOL can commit:
MIXING n' MATCHING
Barf!
Let it be said, I don't mind the AHOL that favors LEGO brick-built animals.
Even though I prefer the molded variety.
But the one thing I can't abide is is mixing and matching LEGO brick-built animals with molded LEGO animals.
Come on.
Imagine going to a zoo.
In the gorilla pen you have one graceful ape, with all his bows and bends looking natural and refined.
Next to him is another primate. Blocky and even. Built from Minecraft-esque quadratics.
A freak. Boxlike and right-angled.
Bullshit and bojangles aside, I respect brick builders. Build them animals, you creep. But...
Look at LEGO from the late 70's/early 80's.
Look at the evolution of LEGO prints.
I love, love, love the way LEGO continues to impress and create new and updated parts and pieces.
People, plants and animals should be molded. Period.
Think differently?
Argue my tiny brain off.
But never forget - YOU are loved. By me. You shitty, little AHOL.
